The divorce process can be an emotional and stressful time, particularly when domestic violence is involved. When children are involved, it’s even more difficult. As a result of a divorce or separation, a parent may lose custody of their child. In many states, courts make custody decisions based on what’s in the best interests of the children. This means that if one parent has committed domestic violence, they might not be considered for joint or sole custody. In a custody case, the court looks at a variety of factors including the severity and frequency of the abuse, as well as evidence such as police reports, medical records, photos, restraining orders, and victim impact statements. However, due to the lack of a clear definition of domestic violence, it’s very hard for courts to determine whether a violent act was actually committed or not. In addition, because custody cases are civil and not criminal, the burden of proof is lower than in a criminal trial and there needs to be only a preponderance of evidence that domestic violence occurred.
Batterers often focus on being charming and persuasive during custody battles, which can be misleading to Guardians ad Litem, court mediators, judges, police officers, therapists, and family members. They can discuss their hurt feelings, characterize their relationship as mutually destructive, and insist that their partner is over-reacting to their behavior. They also can lie about their past history of violence in order to appear less harmful.
When an abuser sees that his control over his victim is slipping away, he may become more determined to maintain power and dominance. He may refuse to allow his ex-partner contact with her new partner, smear that person with false allegations of child abuse, threaten to kidnap the children or take legal action to gain sole custody of them. Despite the dangers of this type of behavior, courts often fail to see it as the threat that it is and fail to address the issue.
Children of batterers are at far greater risk psychologically, sexually and physically after a couple separates than when they are still together. Batterers are also multiple times more likely to abuse their children.
As a result, custody and visitation for abusive parents require policies and interventions (judges, mediators, Guardians ad Litem) that are based in the highest level of detail, knowledge, experience, and sensitivity. This requires extensive training by those who have worked directly with victims and abusers and must involve the victim’s input as well.
It’s important for abused children to have access to support from adults they trust, especially during and after a custody battle. This can help to ease their anxiety and fear about being separated from a parent who has been abusive. It’s also vital that they be given the opportunity to talk openly with those supportive adults who can provide them with a safe and loving environment that will help them heal. As they begin to rebuild their lives, they must be taught healthy boundaries and that violence is never acceptable.
Miami domestic violence attorney at Davis and Associates, Attorneys at Law, LLC is are Certified Family Law Specialist by the Florida Board of Legal Specialization and has extensive experience handling high-conflict divorce cases. He has seen both true allegations of domestic violence and false accusations that are often made in the midst of an emotionally charged dispute over property settlement or other issues. If you have questions about filing for a protective order or need assistance with any other family law matter, please contact us today. We are always here to help you. We offer free consultations.
